You can lose weight by being vain, self-serving, selfish and arrogant. Let me explain by putting this simply: diets don’t work. Losing weight because you want to be one of these skinny guys in the gym, or calls you a fat ass, or breaks you’re heart because they say you just aren’t his type isn’t going to make you any fitter, healthier or motivated. It’s just that simple. Sure, these things and a number of other things can motivate you to ditch the cookies and daily trips to McDonalds but they aren’t enough to keep you on the fitness path for long. Why? Because look at your reasons for getting healthy, losing weight and getting fit: they’re all for the sake of pleasing someone else and not you. You should also always support diets with supplements like those at Johns Hopkins.
There are tons of books out there that attempt to offer you a sure-fire plan to blast fat and make you go from looking like Jack Black to Taylor Lautner in a matter of 30 days. The books will tell you to exercise 30 minutes to an hour each day or 3 times a week, cut carbs, only eat whole-wheat, just eat 1,200 calories each day, only eat protein from meat to gain muscle, limit each meal to 400 calories, don’t dare eat after 8 p.m. … the list goes on. What’s best for you? Well first, save your time and money and don’t buy these books meaning to help you out and make you healthier. They aren’t going to work. How do I know? Again, because it’s someone else tell you what you need to do and worse, they don’t even know you! All they care about is making money off of your desire to be a skinny bitch or bastard like everyone else.
Here’s what you need to know, and this is actually free advice: stop caring about others and get selfish. If you want to start taking tennis lessons Raleigh, disregard what anybody else may think and just do it! This is something a lot of trainers and fitness gurus don’t tell you because it’s the key to ultimate fitness and health: it shifts the focus from how others feel about you and how you think others perceive you to just focusing on how you feel and treat yourself. I’m just like everyone else: when I first started losing weight, it wasn’t really about me at all. It was because others told me I needed to, they said I should, I got tired of how people treated me because I wasn’t slim and fit. It wasn’t until I stole the spotlight and put it back on me when everything clicked. Instead of caring about pleasing others, I just focused on me, my body and getting in the best shape of my life. I stopped talking to negative people who treated me poorly just because I was overweight; once I slimmed down, I knew they would treat me differently but I’d seen their true colors and personality and didn’t like it so why let them hang around just because I’d changed on the outside? Everything I did was prefaced with the question, “What’s in it for me?” I wanted to try being vegetarian, try being vegan, never have been into alcohol, drugs or other substances so I was okay being that one odd-ball of the group.
Getting fit isn’t about finding the perfect diet. Sure, that helps, but you’ll find that getting healthy and fit starts with getting your head on straight. Losing weight isn’t just about shedding pounds and fat but about getting rid of all of the emotional baggage that undoubtedly lead to your weight issues. People can find that using the best fat burner supplements helps, but in the end the mental fight is critical. When it comes to getting healthy, I’m sorry, but it’s not about mama or pop, brother or sister, wifey or kids or the mistress or secret crush: it’s all about you. If you aren’t into it for you, then no workout plan or amount of exercise is going to improve you. You’ve got to take yourself into this zone where it’s all about you. Get arrogant: you don’t need a damn nutritionist to tell you what to eat! You KNOW what’s not good for you and if not you know all you have to do is Google it or pick up a fitness magazine to get some tips. Be self-serving: stop making the excuse that your schedule is too busy to work out! There’s probably a ton of stuff you do each day that could easily be done either quicker or the next day without the world imploding. You need to tell people ‘no’ sometimes and that you need to leave at exactly yadda-yadda because you HAVE to work out. If people ask you why you’re working out so much or why you’re suddenly becoming that nit-picky eater and health freak, guess what, you don’t have to answer them! Usually when you go healthy you’re buying your own food anyway so as long as you aren’t forcing them to get healthy or eat your food, why should they care?
Here are some easy tips to what I call the “You’re So Vain” Fitness Plan:
1. Buy a full-length mirror and become very familiar with yourself. I always say that mirrors are underrated as a workout tool. Again, we’re taught not to be vain and care about our looks but being healthy is about your appearance and being aware of what’s not right. Buy a full length mirror and when you get up each morning, stop by and do a little inspection. What don’t you like about yourself? What’s changing? What the heck is THAT and where’d it come from? Being fully aware of your appearance is going to help you lose weight. I think too often we’re afraid of mirrors because there’s no hiding from the truth when you face it. You’ll notice all of your imperfections, you’ll find a some things you actually like and others you’d like to change. This is the key to your getting healthy. Don’t like your flat butt? Look into glute and butt exercises and note your progress. Is your stomach just … eck? Then it’s probably what you’re drinking and eating – cut out the excessive sugar and processed foods.
2. Be your own paparazzi. This is one of those moves you need to do with caution but you need to document your progress and snap pictures of yourself. Have you seen ‘Celebrity Fit Club’ and ‘The Biggest Loser’ where they strip the person down, taking pictures of them? They aren’t doing so for sex appeal, they’re doing so because usually when we’re overweight, we hide behind our clothes. We’ll buy shirts bigger than they should be, baggy pants, jackets, loose clothing just so it’ll hide our bodies. So strip down and snap some pics. Document your progress each month. Again, this will make you more aware of your exercise and fitness than a number on a scale will.
3. Buy a little “something-something” for yourself. You need a goal and something to work toward. I don’t mean a meal because c’mon, you’re trying to lose weight so that seems to just go against all that you’re working toward. I’m not talking about something that’s thousands of dollars or even hundreds. Buy yourself some lingerie or new underwear. Buy them at the size that you’d like to be, and if you’re really determined, buy them a size smaller than that. Someone once told me that they wanted to buy themselves some special Victoria’s Secret underwear so that one day when they worked out and exercised, they’d be able to wear them. At first, I thought it was really weird but I think this is a great idea nowadays! Lingerie and underwear (for the men) are very intimate and isn’t just about sex but about self confidence. The day you can fit into your special little gift, you’re automatically going to feel sexier, hotter and more confident than ever. It won’t even matter what weight you are but all about how you look and that’s what healthy weight loss should be about. We get caught up with numbers and pounds but seriously, who’s going to know (or care) how much you weigh unless you tell them? It’s all about how you LOOK. If you go from wearing XXL to XS then believe me, you’ve put in your due share of hard work and probably look amazing (at least compared to how you used to look).
4. Flood your thoughts with attitude. Listen to music, and not just your favorite tunes but music that has lyrics that will make you more confident and feel hot and sexy. When I workout, it’s all about me. I get an added boost of endurance if I’m not worrying about keeping up with someone else running or someone else walking around shirtless. So, I listen to music and soak in the lyrics. I listen to music that’s boastful and conceited (Trina with songs like ‘Still Da Baddest’ and ‘Killing You Hoes’ is good for that), songs that are all about being so important that you’re center of attention (Britney’s ‘If U Seek Amy’ or GaGa’s ‘Telephone’ are good candidates) and then songs that ooze confidence and sexuality (Most of Madonna’s catalog fits this criteria). Listening to slow, depressing, dreary songs tend to slow you down and lead to under-performing when you’re working out. When you’re exercising and trying to build muscle, shed fat, drop pounds … you need to be motivated and in the zone! It’s not the time to be nice, pleasant and considerate. Get selfish- it’s all about you and you’re training. This is the best time to be conceited, self-serving and unapologetically selfish.
If you do these things, you’ll lose weight. You’ll find that eating better is easier because you’re no longer eating the way you are because some ‘expert’ told you that you should. You’ll be eating better because you want to be the best, the fittest, better than ever. You’ll find that keeping the weight off once you’ve lost it is easier because you changed how you treat and regard yourself: it’s gone from being a horrible diet or effort to please someone to being all about doing it for yourself. So it’s okay, I give you permission to act out and be a selfish, arrogant, fitness nut. When you go from being the flabby punching bag to skinny b*tch or bastard that everyone envies and adores, you’ll thank me for this fitness tip.