“My mom won’t even let me watch ‘Twilight!’ My mom thinks Kristen Stewart is a bitch.” — Tina

“If you’re gonna say something, say it loud!” — Kurt

“I’m going to put together a pallet that express who you are and who I want you to be … [pause] Who you want to be.” — Kurt to Finn

Puck: “What’s up with this GaGa dude? He just dresses weird, right?”
Kurt: “GaGa is a woman! She’s only the biggest pop act to come along in decades. She’s boundary pushing, most theatric performer of our generation. She changes her look faster than Brit changes her sexual partners.”
Brittany: “That’s true.”

“Theatricality isn’t about crazy outfits. It’s not enough to douse yourself in gasoline – you have to light yourselves on fire to make it work! Being theatrical doesn’t mean you have to be a nuclear explosion. It can be like a quiet storm. You just have to express what’s deep inside you. That’s what theatricality is all about.” — Shelby Corcoran

Quinn: “You want to name our daughter Jack Daniels? She’s a girl!”
Puck: “Okay, fine: Jackie Daniels.”

“If you want to switch it up a bit just go from GAP to Banana Republic.” — Black football player to Kurt on dressing like Lady GaGa

“Wait, where’s Rachel? I only noticed that like 5 minutes have gone by without her singing something totally obnoxious.” — Puck

“You look terrible. I look awesome.” — Brittany to Rachel

“I knew it was contagious. You moved in with that Kurt kid and now you’ve got a bad case of the gays!” — Black football player to Finn

Tina: “My balls keep falling off.”
Kurt: “Oh, I’ve been there.”

Tina: “So here’s what’s gonna happen; my dad, he’s the king of the vampires and Asian vampires are the most vicious of all the vampires. You’re gonna let me wear my lady [sic] clothes or my dad is going to fly into your bedroom and bite your face off. He’s really pissed. Is that what you want?”
Principal Figgins: “I don’t want that, I’m afraid.”
Tina: “Good. Now I’m glad we had this talk. Now I’ve got to go back to my coffin because the light is burning my eyes.”

“… I took biology. We done disturbed the freak hive! The worker freaks is trying to protect the queen freak.” — Black football player.

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  1. Hey. In your third quote, it’s spelled “palate”. And what’s up with the [sic] in the Tina quote where it’s supposed to be “demon”?

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